SUMMER IS ALMOST OVER!

So, I am currently in the process of:

a) getting off-book for a bunch of stuff for school
b) reading a shit ton of german and shakespeare plays
c) cleaning out my school stuff from last year to get ready for next year

While going through all of this, I re-read all of my notes and quotes in my notebook from my collaboration class last semester, and it completely reminded me why I fucking love Columbia.

And especially Anne Bogart. She is a genius, and taught me so much every monday. She has written a bunch of awesome books on theatre and directing, and is a pretty big deal because of, you know, VIEWPOINTS and Siti Company (you can check out her books on Amazon!).

ANYWAY, I thought I would do a fun post, and share a few of my favorite quotes from my notebook because they made me so happy. I probably paraphrased a few of these when I was exhausted on a monday morning. :)

"A good actor changes the audience's breathing."

"The enemy to being an artist is habit."

"FUCK EACH OTHER UP!"

"Don't take your feet off of the brakes to get to the accelerator."

"WHEN IN DOUBT, VIEWPOINT!"

"Don't be afraid of stillness."

"Here's the thing: life is tough, right?"

"SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN."

"Don't play the problem; play the solution."

"Civilization is restraint."

"Presence is most apparent in absence."

"ACTING IS HARD."

"Don't piss away your entrance."

"THE SECRET TO ACTING: If you like it a lot, it's probably wrong."



And some quotes I wrote down by other people:

"Don't move unless there is a reason to move. Desire for variety is not a good enough reason." - Brecht

"Theatre is the artform wherein human beings makes human actions worth watching." - The Necessity of Theatre



There are a million more, but I guess you will have to take a class with Anne yourself if you want more of her wisdom. ;)

I promise at least two more posts before school starts up. E-mail me at brynneerinmcmanimie@gmail.com or leave a comment if you have anything specific you would like me to talk about at some point!

xoxo

brynne

Inevitably, whenever I tell someone I am getting an MFA in Acting, the question they ask is "so .. is that really necessary? like... do you NEED an MFA to be successful as an actor?"

My undergraduate experience was less than satisfactory. I was in a program where only certain types of people could really thrive and survive. I was also in a musical theatre program, which meant triple threat. And .. I'm not a dancer. I mean, I don't have two left feet. I can move really well and pick up choreography, and I know if I started dancing as a kid, I would've been pretty good. But I didn't, and so I wasn't very good, and that was my weakness. I was competing for the BFA with a bunch of people who COULD dance well, and I felt intimidated. I was really too young to be able to say "fuck em" at that point in the my life, so I continued to feel the pressure to be the perfect person this program wanted me to be. I lost all of my confidence that I had gained prior to that, just through doing theatre. I really thought I wasn't good enough and I should just .. do something else with my life. I had a few people on my side during those years, and if I could give advice to my younger self, it would be to listen to the people who had my best interests in mind, not the people who were more interested in making themselves feel better about their failures.

When I moved to NYC, I still lived with that anxiety. I constantly thought I would not be good enough and I'd embarrass myself in a New York audition, because that's essentially all I took away from (most) of my undergrad. I tried to go to a few auditions but gave up for the most part. I was unhappy with myself and my choices. I was depressed. So, I worked for two years at a desk job, thinking I needed a break from theatre. In the beginning, I loved it. I liked working for a paycheck and making enough money to live comfortably and having a routine. But then it got to a point where I HAD to go back to theatre and film. I gave myself the time to explore other options, and don't get me wrong, I was really good at my job. But being good at something doesn't necessarily mean it's the right path. I felt the right path for me was going back to school.

So, with all that being said, here are the reasons an MFA in Acting is necessary and important for ME.

1. Training.

2. It's a MASTERS Degree.

3. An MFA is becoming more important.

4. My specific program felt right for me.

5. The connections.

6. I am learning how to fail.

So. I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to begin all of this.

Basically .. what it comes down to .. is that I'm in grad school. For acting. At an Ivy League. And it's exhausting and exhilarating and horrible and wonderful and perfect. And I want to a place to write about it and share my experiences and let other people see what goes on for all of us.

I began this adventure about a year ago, so I'm starting this out kind of late. But this past year was a lot about discovering who I was and all of that, so it was a pretty confusing time. I don't think I would have been able to really explain a lot of what I was dealing with anyway. But I think now I can look back and reflect and not get crazy emotional about all of the things that have changed.

For starters, let me talk about the program itself. It's a 3 year program, with 2 years of training and 1 year of professional stuff. Like, our thesis, we work with an off-broadway company, and our showcases in LA and NY for agents, managers, and all of those people who will help us get jobs after graduation. The 2 years of training consist of a mash-up of a ton of different techniques, ideas, philosophies. I would say it's a classically-based program, but only in the sense that our teachers believe we need to go to the roots of theatre in order to be successful in contemporary theatre. Or, at least, that's what I am taking away from it. Our first year is a lot of Linklater voice training - Kristin Linklater, look her up - with about 12 hours a week devoted to voice. We have, what we have all deemed, as "Niky Training" which is just .. kind of impossible to explain. We spent some time working on the Greeks and Moliere. We also got to work on scenes from Peer Gynt, the Jacobeans, American Masters (like Tennessee Williams and Edward Albee), and pretty much everything in Sarah Kane's plays. We did some contemporary scene work from a Meisner point of view. We worked with Anne Bogart on creating 3 rounds of new works with our fellow MFAs (such as directors, playwrights, etc.). We did a lot of viewpoints. We got a semester of theatre history. And mostly, we learned a lot about who we are as people.

I can say now that grad school is nothing like I thought it would be. My whole life has been flipped on it's head, and for the best. There have been a lot of days where I have been on the struggle bus emotionally, physically, mentally. There were days when I thought I couldn't keep my eyes open for one more minute, but somehow I managed to get through three more rehearsals. There were days when I didn't think I could stop crying and I legitimately thought I would never be happy again. I forgot to each lunch at least three days a week. I lost a lot of weight. I'd like to say my personal life stayed unaffected but, as anyone getting an MFA can tell you, it's impossible to keep up any sort of social life outside of school, and it's very hard to maintain relationships with people in your life, sometimes even including family.

On the positive side, my class has become like a family. We have seen each other in very vulnerable situations - physically and emotionally - and it has brought us together in a way that no one else will quite understand. Even after a year, we still want to spend time together OUTSIDE of school, which is kind of incredible. And I love all of them as if they were my actual brothers and sisters.

This next year is going to be even harder than the first. If I had to classify the two years, year one is about discovering who you want to be as a person, and year two is about discovering who you want to be as an artist and actor. Until I can figure out who I am and what I want to say, I will never have a clear voice as an actor or an artist. I will wander around from project to project, begging for work and running away at the first sign of rejection. If I know my goals and who I am and what I want to give to the world, I'll be able to make it through the rejection and the tough times, and come out even stronger. I have to learn how to push past the things that are holding me back as a human being before I can even tackle my issues as an actor. Because, as Anne Bogart says all the time (from "The Necessity of Theatre"), "Theatre is the artform wherein human beings make human beings worth watching."

"I am Enough" is a phrase a lot of motivational websites and people and seminars use (I'm just guessing here because I've never really done those motivational things). But it's also a phrase we use a lot during vocal warm-ups. Because, honestly, most actors artists feel they need to overcompensate for something, when really, you are enough. What you have to say, from your point of view, is enough. And if you put the time and effort into training to be the best possible artist you can be, whatever that means to you, it will just be there as something that will hold you up and keep you going. Because, seriously, you are enough.

Some of my favorite Sondheim lyrics are from Sunday in the Park with George, which kind of say the same thing:

Anything you do
Let it come from you
Then it will be new
Give us more to see

(I should also mention that I love musical theatre a little too much)

xoxo
brynne