@grittttty: anti-feminism

10:10:00 PM

why i need feminism

RANT.

No, this post is not about theatre or acting specifically.

But I have decided to use my blog as a platform to talk about something I care about a whole lot because I can do whatever I want. And it directly relates to what I hope I can do with theatre in my future - spread awareness and inform communities about issues I care about. And one issue I am VERY passionate about is .... drumroll ..... FEMINISM!

I was raised in a family of mostly women; strong women. Women who don't take shit from anyone. Women that I DEFINITELY don't always agree with but I respect, because they make their own decisions that work for them. Women who encouraged me to follow my own path in ALL areas of my life. Women who taught me that women are fucking awesome.

I was raised by a father, and a MAN, who never told me I wasn't capable of something because I was a woman. If I wanted to do gymnastics, I could do gymnastics. If I wanted to be a lawyer, I could be a lawyer. If I wanted to some day be the CEO of a company, hell yes I could do that. And when I made the decision to continue to do theatre, he absolutely supported that, too. He knew that I could do whatever I put my mind to - and it didn't matter if I was a man or a woman. He held me to the same standards as any man in his life that he loved or respected. He made sure that my gender was never an issue in what I wanted to do. He is, by definition, a feminist, even if he doesn't say so.

Through all of this, I have become an extremely opinionated and fucking intelligent individual (yeah, I'm gonna get a little egotistical here, sorrynotsorry). I was fortunate enough to discover my independence and strength at a young age. I love my feminine AND my masculine qualities, and am excited about the person I am becoming. About the WOMAN I am becoming. And I have feminism and it's role in history to thank for a lot of that.

I am outraged by the tumblr womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I am not legitimately boiling with anger. But I am also sad that so many women are so horribly misinformed, and .. most of them are so misinformed that they are actually feminists and don't even know it, which is actually just hilarious.

Anyway, I wanted to just talk about why I ABSOLUTELY NEED feminism, and how it has completely changed the past century.

1. FEMINISM is the REASON you are able to even have a VOICE and a CHOICE in 2014.

So, we live in a patriarchal society. Not sure if everyone was aware of that. Except for in recent times, our country was also mostly patrilineal - women generally take the last name of their husband, and the man's name is carried on through the family. And that's totally fine, whatever, who cares, it's a name, and nowadays, it's a choice. But it's just one example of how, in our daily lives, women have been made to seem less significant to men. But, I am sure there are many women out there who would still CHOOSE to take their husband's last name even if that wasn't the norm.

AND THAT'S WHAT FEMINISM HAS DONE FOR US. It has given us the ability to say "no, you know what, I think I'm gonna keep my last name" if we want without some sort of insane "WHATTT?!" response from any of the men, or other women, in our lives. It has given us the ability to say "hey, I think I want to have a career and I really don't wanna get married" or "man, I really wanna stay at home and raise my kids" or "I want to have kids and have a career, and I want both at the same time." It has given every women the ability to have a VOICE and make our own CHOICES on so many issues (not just the select women in history who were badasses and said I DO WHAT I WANT BITCHES), instead of having someone that isn't even our gender, and doesn't even have the same reproductive organs or body or ABILITIES as us, make that choice for us. Feminism literally fought for and WON women the right to vote. Like.. vote for who represents us in our government. That's, you know ... kind of a big deal. And it has given the women against feminism movement an opportunity to even speak out AGAINST feminism. I hope they understand that.

2. FEMINISM IS ABOUT EQUALITY, NOT CRUSHING MEN.

There have been women in the past who have given feminism a bad name, of course. They bash men and I'm sure some women believe all women should be superior to men (I literally have never met any woman like this, but who knows; I HAVE met men who think all men are superior to women so there's that for ya). One bad apple ruins the whole bunch, and that sucks. But it's 2014. Things have changed in the world. And there is this thing called the internet where you can research and google pretty much ANYTHING YOU WANT. Including the definition of feminism:

fem·i·nism

ˈfeməˌnizəm/

noun

the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

That is literally the first thing that pops up on google and I don't understand how much clearer it can possibly say equality to men in that sentence. I'm baffled that there are women who legitimately believe feminism is anything other than fighting for equality (some of these signs on this tumblr LITERALLY SAY THAT, and my mouth was just .. agape). I am sorry if any of you have come across women who claim to be feminists who are not representing that idea, but seriously .. do your research and talk to other feminists before making any assumptions. I think people are confusing second wave feminism with third wave feminism (not that either one is less important in the history of women's rights), but third wave feminism is what people think of as modern feminism (which is especially active in pursing equality on all levels; for women of all races and ethnicities, and gay rights and trans rights, as well). If you aren't interested in fighting for equality ... I just literally cannot understand that, and I can't speak on that at all because it is so far from anything I can comprehend.

Also, guess what? I LIKE MEN! I date men! Wow, a feminist who likes men, shocking!

But seriously, though. I appreciate men. I love the men in my life and am so grateful for everything they have done for me. Anyone who knows me well knows I actually get along better with dudes most of the time and generally have more male friends than female friends (but nothing beats the lovely ladies in my life!). I like to go on dates with men and feel feminine with them and enjoy feeling feminine. I totally ask them to kill bugs for me and help me hang things on my wall. I don't burn my bras. I shave and I do lots of things that a lot of anti-feminists believe are, for some strange reason, attached to being a feminist. But I also support other women who choose to live their lives totally different than me.

I believe that men and women can be both masculine and feminine, and that one gender should NOT be superior to the other. It's literally as simple as that.

Feminism is about making sure women are treated equally in every aspect of life. In case some people are still unaware about the un-equality on a daily basis and missed the #YESALLWOMEN hashtag movement, here are just a few things that happen regularly that show how women are NOT equal to men, still, in 2014:

cat-calling (I cannot walk more than 3 blocks in NYC before being cat called, harassed, stared at or just have who knows what yelled at me, and this happens to so many women DAILY)

rape (9 out of 10 rape victims in 2013 were women; 1 in 6 women will experience an attempted rape or completed rape in their lifetime; http://www.rainn.org)

the pay gap (yes, this is a real thing, and yes, I have experienced it myself, and no, I did not CHOOSE to get paid less than my male counterpart - in response to THIS: http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/post/92181274115/submit-your-pic-all-photos-are-anonymous)

the glass ceiling, which affects both women and minorities

the glass escalator (http://women-empowered.com/2013/03/the-glass-ceiling-vs-the-glass-escalator)

the sexual double standard; women aren't supposed to have sexual freedom, while men are encouraged; "sluts", "friend-zoning", and all that bullshit.

gendered language, ("mankind", anyone?)

men are making legal decisions about women's bodies, (yeah, I'm talking about abortion and birth control, ladies)
breast-feeding in public is still an issue for some reason

While some of these are obvious, some of these are more subtle concepts that women deal with from a young age - and until we are older, we may not even realize how it has affected us. Feminism brings awareness to these and actively encourages everyone to re-think how we treat each other on a daily basis, and how we raise our future generations. I am so thankful I have a group of people who are watching my back, and have helped bring us along so far. Which is why I am so sad to see people lashing out against feminism.

3. AND, a short story.

Recently, I went out for drinks with my friend, Nick. At the bar, we sat next to an older man, I think in his 80s, who must have been a regular. We got to talking, and very quickly, my adoration of his old-man quirks turned to absolute horror. Here are a few things my new friend Richard had to say to me, totally serious:

Women don't belong in grad school; they need to take care of their husbands and kids. He was actually slightly disgusted that I was 25 and in school.

I need to get married soon because my time is almost up. (No idea what time he was referring to... my time of being young and beautiful and finding a man? who knows.)

Oh, and babies because my eggs are gonna be dried up in a few years.

Women who drink whiskey aren't ladylike. It's inappropriate. I was probably most offended by this, obviously.

I wish I could have recorded the entire conversation, because just listing that made it sound so tame. But I had never had a man tell me so clearly to my face that I did not know my place as a woman.

So, my point is this: without feminism, we'd still have WAY TOO MANY men like Richard running around, and we still have a long way to go before we reach equality. And it's totally possible that I would never have been able to even pursue a career, or drink a glass of Bulleit (neat, of course) in fucking peace. I am terrified to think of what the world without the feminism movement was like.

I'm actually exhausted so /endrant. I doubt I was the most eloquent in some of my points because that's what happens when emotions say hello. But, I don't really give a shit because I needed to finally say something. I did a lot of heart opening in Yoga earlier so I am especially receptive to both love and bullshit today.

Also, if anyone wants to have a further discussion about this (civil please, because I'm less angry now), please leave a comment below or shoot me an e-mail at brynneerinmcmanimie@gmail.com. I'd love to chat some more and hear people's views on this anti-feminist movement. (again, you can check out the tumblr here: http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/, and while I hate to give them more publicity because clearly I do not agree, I think it's important to see where both sides are coming from so we can talk shit out).

I'm not perfect and I don't lead a perfect feminist life. I actually don't even know what that means. But I believe in this movement, and try my best to live my life according to what it stands for on a daily basis. I hope other people can try, too, if they don't already.

Thanks for putting up with my non-acting post - you are all lovely. I will get back to writing about acting and school this weekend - I have a good post planned, so make sure you come back and check it out!

peace, love, and FUCK YEAH WOMEN,

brynne